Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are important for our mental and emotional health. It is okay to say no especially if we are feeling intimidated or overwhelmed. We should not do something because we feel obligated or guilty. How can we notice that our boundaries are being infringed upon?
Well, our bodies tell us. Do you feel yourself tensing up? How is your gut feeling? Is it tensing up? Do you feel like your heart is suddenly dropping? Are you finding it difficult to answer and cannot find the words? Or do you feel stressed or rushed in needing to provide an answer? Think back on situations when you did something you really did not want to do. Reflection is a great teacher and guide in understanding oneself.
It is important to have healthy boundaries because if we do have healthy boundaries healthier situations will come our way. It is a ripple effect. Individuals say “why does this happen to me?” A great place to start is with yourself and being honest with yourself. What do you do to attract a lack of boundaries? Why do you say “yes” and over extend yourself? What are you seeking from the person or situation by saying “yes”? Are you actioning from a place of need or true and pure desire to help? If you are constantly feeling like you have to help others is this action coming from a place of need and if so why? Why do you allow people to infringe on your space?
You will need to start small if you do want to learn to set boundaries. It is important to understand that if you are beginning to say “no” to certain things you will also need to accept “no” from others. This is balance. Life is about that. Learning to clearly communicate your needs is another aspect of setting boundaries. If you become all tongue twisted or worried about what others think you most likely will have a difficult time expressing yourself and understanding that you are as valuable as others. Your needs and wants are just as important as the needs and want of others.
Finally, in creating healthy boundaries we keep away situations that can turn negative and impose on our spiritual, emotional and mental domains. Healthy boundaries help us to set ourselves up with healthy self-esteem, healthy personal space and healthy relationships.
Boundaries are not barriers. Boundaries encourage respect and understanding about yourself and in turn that will be reflected in your relationship with others.
